Religious affiliation of college students declines during
the college years. According to a survey of several thousand students, only 11%
entered college claiming no religious affiliation, but 24% left college
claiming no religious affiliation. Christian students showed confusion and
ambivalence toward their faith.
They associated Christianity with good values and principles, but also
believed Christians are judgmental, hypocritical, anti-gay and too involved in
politics. Other studies of college-age Christians found their core beliefs can be reduced to "being nice", and that being nice entitles
them to comfort and happiness. The studies also showed that college students
find their Christian faith does not help them withstand the “storms” of life,
and that it is a faith that does not last beyond high school.
My response to the chaplain was that he was describing a
stage of life that should not surprise him. After all, the studies focused on a time in life where young
people step outside their familiar circle of family and friends and embark on a
spiritual journey with new powers of reasoning that make it easy to be skeptical
of absolutes and confused by the contradictions in their faith. After all, his own
report acknowledged that the faith of childhood does not prepare young adults
for complex concepts like forgiveness, loving your enemies, compassion,
sacrifice, concern for others and justice.
Let me personalize this:
Nine years old: I lay on my back in the grass, sunlight
fading away, a sliver of moon above the eastern horizon, a few early stars
glimmering in the violet sky. Where was God? Maybe the stars were portals in the dome of the universe
and, if I had a spaceship, I could get close enough to see through a portal
into heaven. The preacher said God was watching over us and could see all that
we do, that if we had faith in Him and did our best, we would go to
heaven. Where was heaven? On the other side of the dome? On Sunday mornings, we pursued God and
heaven. Days ended with homage to
the pursuit. Mom knelt by my bed as I prayed. “Now I lay me down to
sleep . . . if I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to
take.” Rote speaking, difficult to
ponder.
Going to church was a weekly ritual. We all went to church,
and I mean ALL - mom, dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. Church was
about sin and salvation. Sermons were pointed and fierce. Backsliding within
the family was easily recognized and much talked about.
I wanted to be in the circle and safe from Hell. But I
wasn’t always good. I stole candy bars from the service station on the corner. And prayed about it. I wanted to be made new and better. After being
immersed in the baptismal waters, I checked my status the next day. I pinched
my arm, wiggled my toes and waited for God’s voice to confirm that I was a new
boy. An inkling of confusion came upon me when I could not discern any
difference. From that day until now, life has been occasional moments of
holiness interrupting a steady-state of non-holiness and backsliding.
My spiritual journey took its first detour during my college
years when I became un-churched. I might be wrong, but I think that is the way
it has to happen for some of us. We have to step
outside the circle of what we have inherited and find out where we really
belong. Maybe some of us belong
within our spiritual inheritance, but I don’t think we know until we step
outside of it and test it’s strength. College empowered me to be more fearless
about matters of faith.
Many in my family would say I have lost my faith. I have
long since accepted my spiritual state.
Backsliding is now someone else’s term. I’m not a holy person, but I find spirituality, sometimes in
a church, but often in a book, or in colors and textures of the earth and the
sound and feel of water and wind. I have known people of many different faiths,
Christian and non-Christian. I have friends who never speak of religious faith,
but in their capacity for love and forgiveness I sense something strong and
good. In the places I have been and the people I know, I am confident I belong to
something bigger and more eternal than myself. That may not be satisfactory for you, but that’s between you and God.