Where were the Blessings of Liberty? There were days I felt shackled to tradition. Though I lived in the Land of the Free, my teenage self was decidedly unfree.
That was several decades ago.
The freedom
angst slowly changes. Learning and living leads to a different perspective. Adults are still plagued by the angst; but it has
little to do with school, parents or church.
The adult angst is centered on government and ideology. Our founding fathers
did not foresee an intrusive government limiting our independence with a
gazillion taxes and fees – income, capital, sales, property, usage and luxuries. Taxes to educate the young, heal the weak, care for the old and subsidize
the rich take large chunks of our money needed to do what we want to do and
have what we want to have. Ideologically, there is both conservative angst and liberal angst.
Angst leads to fear and fear suppresses freedom. We fear the lack of money. We fear crime, terrorism, immigrants, drugs, the criminally
insane, opposing ideologies and the unknown. To move freely and safely, we need a gun. Because
we fear that our gun is less deadly than the other guy’s gun, we stock our
personal armories. The Land of the Free devolves to the Wild West.
I am
striving to free myself of the freedom angst.
I want to attend more carefully to my corner of the world, to the corner
of my mind where fear resides. Our government might make us freer than other governments, but it cannot make us free. If we want freedom, we’ll have to contend with things nongovernmental. Here are some questions about those
other things:
Will I work or will I labor? Work is my exertion to create, to build, to improve and to achieve. It is an exertion that brings short-term weariness but long-term strength. It ignites curiosity, passion and commitment. It involves the mind and the body. It makes me larger, more versatile and more free. Labor is my exertion to sustain. It is temporary. It dissolves at the end of the day and must be repeated. It is relatively mindless. Many of us live a life of labor. The most free among us work.
(The
distinction between work and labor can be illusive. One person’s labor might be
another person’s work. My work is writing and teaching. My labor is keeping
things clean and organized. Work is passion; labor is routine. When I find
satisfaction in cleanliness and organization, my labor becomes work. When I
feel compelled to work to provide for my daily needs, my work becomes labor. One who labors too much cannot be free.)
Will I
want what I have, rather than have what I want? I really want a bigger boat – roomy and
stable enough to spend summers off the coast of Maine and winters in the
Caribbean. There are other places I want to be and a boat cannot take me there.
I need additional modes of transport - efficient, luxurious and environmentally friendly. That is
what I want. What I have is a family, home, friends and a small sailboat
and a minivan. I’ve seen such a small portion of the world, but perhaps I do not know the value of the small portion I have seen. Sometimes I look and do not see, listen and fail to
hear.
Will I
be more fearless? I cannot confront what I fail to
acknowledge. I should fear aging less, live more for today and less for
tomorrow. I should confront those inner things that worry me – personal habits
that waste time and reduce the quality of the day. Perhaps I should believe
more in the fantasies I tend to reject. Cast out the demons. Ritualize
self-control. A fearful and worried mind
is far from freedom.
Freedom
Look and listen
with more discriminating eyes and ears.
Balance work and labor.
Fear less.
Cast out the demons.
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